Harmon Street Again


I remember the house on Harmon Street
The basement windows of the red brick church
On the corner at the top of the streethill.
Aluminum framed dirty stained glass at ground level
And the fat jolly volunteer policeman
radio geek that lived across the street
that had a treasure trove of toys strewn
in the crawlspace beneath his trailer
The weeping willow
in the sloping yard
of the house on Harmon Street
and the floor heater grating
and crumbly blue flooring in the back room
where most things were 50 years old in the 1970's
and a tiny, frail, white haired woman
called...mawmaw?
she was my mother's father's mother
and she was older than anything alive
i was so young then
the mornings were like candy
and the old woman so nice and loving
and everything was a smile
and it was always time to play
and me and my brother
were the center of the universe
for that few hours
later, in our teens
my brother knew a girl
that lived on the same street
and we rode over there on our bikes once
my brother and the girl
did what 14 year olds do on summer evenings
bikes leaning against a car on the street
and i just hung around
and marveled at how we were in the same place
that we had been when we were babies here
and all of us
played beneath that
huge
old
tree
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why all the badassery?

In nature, an aggressive stance can save you.There's that desert lizard that throws up a big skinweb behind his head and runs towards his attacker as a defense, the Pufferfish that swells up when provoked and Obi Wan Kenobi, who's unearthly noises (original version) and flailing Jedi robe arms scare off the simple-minded sand people.
In Kentucky, most of the police (especially the "stateboys") drive a variation of the Ford Crown Victoria. Astute cop watchers across the state are familiar with the subtle indicators of copness that a Crown 'Vic grille conveys. Ford, like other auto makers, likes to use the same platform for a vehicle, modify it slightly and then sell the modified original design as something completely new or different - like "Lincoln Town Car" or "Mercury Marquis". These big, mid-level luxury cars also happen to be favorites of the over-70 set. An interesting coincidence?
An old couple in a big car is nothing new. They've been told for years that larger cars are safer (James Dean), but i have a theory that there are Ford salesmen out there that are pushing the the unintentional 'safety feature' of these cars in that when approaching on the interstate (where all the over-70 set think that everyone is reckless and need to just slow down) these cars look like police cars - and when most people see what they think looks like a cop, they lay off the pedal.

That was a very poorly constructed paragraph.

It works, though. In Ky, a stock 'Vic, Mercury Marquis or a Lincoln will, from a distance, resemble a police car; these days, with so many unmarkeds patrolling the roadways, a violator (the speed limit should be 80 mph, dammit) can't be sure what color mid-sized sedan an officer is going to be wearing, so anything that looks like a mid-sized Ford sedan is suspect.
So, (i theorize) the old people are being told that if they drive this car, law-breaking commuters that see them in the oncoming lane (or - by some odd coincidence - approaching from the rear) will slow down...making the car a safer car than say, a Chrysler or Chevrolet of the same size.

Aggressive stance can save you?

Now, take this same imaginary, hypothetical logic and apply it to the glut of Harley Davidson motorcycles and the myriad imitations that seem to be on the road of late.
Almost subconsciously, most Americans associate Harleys with big, drunk guys that want to beat the shit out of us and steal our chicks. Why? Because thats what those guys did (google "one percenter") and those used to be the only guys that would ride a Harley...and these guys travelled in packs - like dogs. Bikers were not a nice bunch of guys. Downright menacing. They hurt innocent people - took joy in it. Over the years, they've become aware of the fact that the rest of society is not down with a bunch of big, hairy guys on big, loud bikes that eat too much undercooked beef and spend most of their days blacked out on cheap beer, so they've mounted a number of PR campaigns to soften the image. Look around in your community. There is bound to be a "Ride For The Cause" event being staged by a bunch of "Motorcyclists". This started with the "Toys For Tots" thing that the real "bikers" started doing in the 70's and 80's...so that normal people wouldn't keeping thinking that bikers are drunken, violent racists and rapists...which most people thought they were because of all of the drunken racial beatings, rapes and robberies they had collectively committed through the first half of the century.
So, fast-forward to today. We now have a society in which millions and millions of people are glued to their televisions watching, among other things, "Orange County Choppers".

Aggressive stance?

Being "A Biker" now means...what...that you're not a drunken dirtbag? You're a member of the local Chamber of Commerce? You have accepted Jesus? You care about society more than someone who didn't plop down 25-large for a childish toy? You're not a vain, hypermasculine alpha male asshole?

For whatever reason, suddenly every suburban dad with available credit wants a Harley and a logo-embossed do-rag...and they don't seem to think twice before going out and getting one, - they just do it and BAM - instant badass?

Is it just the television show or does the phenomenon speak to some deeper personal identity crisis amongst males in our society?Are these people in the midst of such personal power crises in their lives that they feel they need to display some kind of striking plumage so that potential foes will at least perceive strength and decide not to...what...beat them up and take their milk money?

Are they trying to seem larger than they actually are - like terrified little desert lizards?
My dad used to be a sensible guy. He can operate a slide-rule, his HAM licence is current and he can shoot a tin can with a marble across the classroom in his physics class. A few years back my dad bought a used Kawasaki Vulcan 750. Its no BMW (a bike about which my dad was known to comment "that's a real machine"), but its not a Harley either. It was a Sensible Bike and he wore a full helmet with a face-shield thing and rode the bike to work sometimes.
He sold the Vulcan a while back.

Now, he's riding a bike that is as close to a Harley as a guy can get without copyright infringement...some 1500lb low-slung Suzuki 'Harley copy'...and he's got the do-rag and all the leather crap (and a 'brain bucket') and i am just left wondering...where is the geek that used to be my dad? Who the hell is this blues-harmonica-playing, church-going, aggressive-stance taking 'thing' that has replaced him?

Who are these people?

Why so much swagger and conspicuous consumption?

Why all the huge, white SUVs?
What is with the pornified 40-something soccer moms with straight platinum blonde hair and olsen twins sunglasses?
Why can't people stop showing off?
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things im tired of

pro-american bumperstickers on foriegn-made cars

oversized vehicles

oversized wheels and tires

people not voting

meticulously trimmed facial hair

speed limits

interest

the Harley Davidson Corporation

anything "tribal"

religious politicians

hicks with muddy ATVs in muddy trucks

country music

rock music

pop music

anything vinyl on the back window of any vehicle

ripped pants

men using hair products

gold

media-induced beauty ideals

"the style"

reading glasses

power

cell phones

ipods

bluetooth

patriotism

the demonization of secularism

fear
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I am interested more in the psychiatric makeup of the VA Tech shooter than in the grieving process.where is the edge he fell or jumped over?what in him made him lack empathy?what is the formula that lead him to the answer of "people must die"?i want to read the letter.Its one thing to be angry at being an outcast or a "loner"...its another to start killing people.

one disturbing thought...and this happened after columbine too...is that i feel that mainstream america, in their seemingly bottomless lack of understanding of anything that does not toe their line, will use this as more ammunition in the war against individualism... wierdos will become more and more frightening...that kids will become more and more exclusive and fearful of their classmates that are not like everyone else they know...that this will cause a further polarization in the culture wars. The "jocks" already hate the "freaks" and vice versa...but its always "the loner" and "the outcast" that starts shooting.apparently he "rails against the rich kids" in his letter.maybe they tried after columbine. remember the onion article?

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29298

maybe some pretty people reached out to some freaks - but what did they do when the freaks recoiled or said things like "you dont even know who you are..." or "you represent the segment of our culture that devaules individualism and freedom of expression..." did the pretty people listen, become introspective and begin to try to change the legacy of cookie-cutterality that made them what they are?probably not, because a realization like this might imply that it is possible that they, their parents and their grandparents have all been wrong about what it means to be an american...and that maybe they haven't really made any decisions for themselves, that they've been programmed by their church, their parents, their friends and their television and that they are ruled by fear.no, i'll bet they didn't and i'll bet that they won't after this either because they love their precious fear.they believe in it and worship it.
also, i'm sure it won't be long for right wing radio to begin spinning this into their racist, xenophobic worldview.

Cho was an abbheration and a monster.I am in no way defending him or saying that he's like kleibold and harris in the context of being outcasts.I'm saying that there is a lesson here for mainstream america to learn about exclusionism and fear, but that rather than learn to become less cliquish, they will most likey be bolstered in their sense that everything different is dangerous and that what happened in virgina will help to move this society more towards homogeny and sameness.

I know, its negative and small-minded and all that.Its just that I remember the fear...from the PRMC and the congregations protesting outside metal concerts in the 80s, to the subtle shift towards 'wholesomeness' in rock music (creed, etc) after kurt cobain died to the homogenization and sterilzation of FM radio programming after 9/11.

Fear. Again.
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to the angry guy on the interstate

i'm pretty sure i know why you're so angry.

you're driving a beat up and rusty 1989 Dodge Ram 50 with "Bush/Cheney", "FLETCHER" and "We Vote PRO-LIFE" plastered all over the dented tailgate...right above where the bumper used to be.

it probably sucks that rather than your situation improving after having voted all of these morally upstanding politicians into office, it has in fact dis-improved.
You also look like Ron White.

http://www.frontrowking.com/comedians/ron%20white/ron_wh10.jpg

That has to suck.

I'm sure it also sucks that i gave you that dirty look as i passed and that even though you tried real hard and made little puffs of black smoke come out of your tailpipe, you still couldn't catch up with me to tell me how much you hated liberals with some sort of grinning, cigarette-holding hand gesture.

No, you have to stay angry and wrong and hungover and try not to get fired from your job as a gopher at the bodyshop that your buddy gave you after you failed the drug test for the callcenter job and got the second DUI last year.

she won't sue for support.she wouldn't do that to you.she knows you're trying.

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bullies

I've dealt with bullies all my life. I grew up being bullied by my father and brothers, i dealt with bullies in elementary and middle school("I wasn't TALKING to you FUCKHEAD!!") and i've dealt with the more subtle bullying styles in high school, college and the workplace and in "friendships".

They never stop.They are the quarterback, the big kid with the crazy military dad, the smart kid with the mean streak he got from his controlling mother, the girl with the most toys, the cheerleader, the big girl that believes everything her redneck family tells her, the preacher, the banker, the cop, the judge, the president of the united states, the head of the fraternity....so many different people.

But they never stop.
There are inspirational stories about people standing up to bullies but unless they are truly confronted and repeatedly and dramatically hurt and emotionally ruined - unless they are broken, they don't stop. The bullying is part of their twisted makeup. It is part of their self worth and their mental picture of who they are ("I hate weakness. Its just the way i am.") .They are sadists that are addicted to power and most dont even realize it.

The only friends a bully has are other bullies because they drive everyone else away.Bullies deserve as much lonlieness as can be heaped upon them.They deserve to learn that the wages of bullying is tears.

If you know one, dont tolerate it. Dont try to help them, dont get closer to them, dont buy the opiate of the condescending crap that passes for "friendliness" that they try to use to get you to let your guard down so they can get deeper inside you and do more damage and cause more pain.

WALK AWAY.

Bullies deserve to hurt because they love to hurt others.

LEAVE.

Quit the job, leave the relationship, cancel the lunch date, stop going to the church, stop talking to them, delete the email addresses and telephone numbers, block them on mysapce - LET IT GO. They are not worth it and they never will be. They are addicts and they will never change.

They deserve silence.

There are sources online for information that will help you to realize that bullies are everywhere.
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO STAND FOR IT.

As this society becomes more and more intoxicated by power, bullying will move more into the realm of acceptance and normalcy.

It is everyone's job to stop this drive towards the devaluing and destruction of tolerance and individuality by proving to bullies that in the end, the addiction to power is its own prison and that bullies die alone.

Make it happen.

LEAVE THEM.