the fading

While you might think i look like i might know a
thing or two about the world
the truth is much less interesting.
I've been nowhere and I'm going back to stay
because I know what's there and nothing is in my way.

In this real world i can see the fading.
I can see the dim light.
I can watch life crumble.
I am dropping the reins.
I watch them fall slowly to the ground
as if under water
They settle slowly - giving me time to pick them up
If I want
But I watch them fall, absorbing the full moment of release
Of no responsibilty
Knowing that they will stay where they fall
and rot
and no longer exist.

the pomato song

I guess we had a time.
A meal of just soup and bread.
You said you'd be a pomegranate
I'd be a tomato instead.

I opened up the wine
with a screwdriver from the shed.
I was a hero for just one moment
andyou were the Lady in Red.

I listened to the rain
as we lay in your mother's bed.
I didn't know if you were sleeping
but I couldn't clear my head.

I drove 200 miles
Just to see an old friend
and then drank up all of your father's whiskey
and ruined it all in the end.

"Apology accepted."
This is all you would say
"Apology accepted."
Maybe I'll get another chance someday.

nashville

All the people I owe money to:
I don't owe you no more
and the people I been workin for
Will have to find another whore
I'm gonna leave it all behind
and I don't care if its in vain

'Cause I been here too long, honey.
In the wanin' summer I'll be gone.

I ain't takin too much with me
Just this guitar and a pack.
Got a buddy that went to Austin once and never did come back.
I ain't sayin I'm like him, I don't know just where I'm bound

But I been here too long honey.
I'll be leavin when the autumn comes around.

spock

again - defeat I concede.
Why?
Sometimes, there is beauty in the end of a life;
the finality of giving up
on things
this world
all of the tedium
all of it is secondary
to the internal
the real need
to be free
to not have to
"eat and shit and work"
and just to live
or not
and be free in the choice

constrianed by devices
and this notion of 'time'
this body knows no time
this body knows only that it wants
"and like so many of us, it does not know what"

continually, prepetually.
I give up every day.

US 60 East

You won't see me comin round
You won't see me comin round
You won't see me comin round
You won't hear me talkin loud
No, You won't see me comin round.

You won't catch me gettin high
You won't catch me gettin high
You won't see me comin round
drinkin friday night
You won't catch me gettin high

You know i've seen you - the way you are
Yes i've seen you - the way you are
I've seen the darkness in your eyes
your smile -a thin disguise
Yes i know you --the way you are.

You don't like me - i know its true
You don't like me - i know its true
You've got it in your mind
that i'm a certain kind
and you don't like me - i know its true.

I got no reason to prove you wrong
I got no reason to prove you wrong
If you think you can know a man
by the way he walks or the way he stands
then i got no reason to prove you wrong.

arizona

I'd tell you to leave but you're already gone.
I'd ask you to stay, but you're right here at home.
All of your things are under lock and key.
Still, there's just enough room for my guitar and me.
That boy from out west came by today.
Said he was nervous...didn't know what to say.
I told him its alright - that we talked about it over beers last night.
I'm still trying to forget it.

So it won't make a difference no matter how I feel
And it don't really matter cause nothing is real
I won't be a winner at the end of this game.
You'll get what you wanted but it won't be the same.
There's things I could say that would make me feel better...
But if you go away...

vw dream

I had another dream...I had traded someone an old bus body for an engine - what I understood to be a new diesel engine. I had mounted it on the back of some old buggy frame -like a vw pan with cheap, homemade rollbars...i was cranking it to try and start it and for some reason I could see down the center of the engine - as if it were a tube of some kind. It began to build compression and some smoke began to come out of the center of the engine...It finally fired up and ran very smooth...i remember moving quickly to work the accel pedal to rev it and keep it running. I got all excited about having a powerful, reliable engine and then i realized i hadn't figured out how to cool it...after i started thinking about the radiator setup I got discouraged.

Wierd how VW stuff permeates my being...my old bus sits in the yard taunting me - it hasn't been run in a couple weeks... I need to get out there and play with it...